Where is my journal going? I began drawing again after many years just before we came to Germany. I made toys for Christmas presents last year and was able to experience that wonderful glow that you get from creativity once more. I began sketching a few ideas for more toys in an old journal and when we came to Germany, drawing helped me with the isolation that comes with living in a foreign country. Then came EDM and a reconnection with creative people which prompted me to reconsider my ideas of being an artist.
Lately I've been reading the websites and blogs by people such as Danny Gregory, Dan Price and Keri Smith . I've been revisiting some old favourite authors such as Natalie Goldberg and Anne Lamott and I think the penny has dropped. My artistic and life aspirations are finally in alignment- Live in the moment, Simplify, be Flexible, be less materialistic. Coming to Germany has been hard for me, the couple of months before we came were incredibly stressful and adjusting to life here has been a real challenge. I've never lived in a different country before, there has been long stretches of boredom interspersed with frustration as well as a few golden moments. I've been disappointed in myself for feeling self pity, for not appreciating this gift of living abroad. The pressure I've been feeling is subsiding now that I've remembered one of the basics of Buddhism- suffering comes from attachment. I forget this all the time, this statement for me means when I have expectations I'm going to be frustrated by them. The solutions- be flexible, don't do retail therapy, slow down and enjoy the small things. And I guess that's where my journal is going, it's to help me remember that life is just fine, it's just getting a little too crowded.