The other day, I bought a new pack of earplugs, an essential for wives of snoring men. These ones were a hot pink and Hana was absolutely intrigued with them. She asks all the time if I can get the pack out for her, she loves the colour, I think when she looks at it she can feel the colour, it is most certainly a pleasurable thing for her.
As I was lying awake the other night (not having the earplugs handy because I had put them in a cupboard to hide them from Hana) I got to thinking how intensely I loved things as a kid. Smells, colours, certain pictures, rocks, pieces of worn glass. It was certainly a sensual experience to look and touch certain things, I can't remember when I ceased experiencing those things so deeply. It made me realise that we inhabit a different world to the one of childhood. No wonder we clash with kids so much, we're living in parallel universes, and unfortunately the impulse to impose our realities on our kids is very hard to resist. I guess it's not wholly intentional. Of course we have their best interests at heart, we want to prepare them for the adult world. I guess the danger is that we unintentionally steal childhood time away if we are not open to their reality.
I began drawing again this year after a long absence because some accidental discoveries on the net lead me to a whole new way of thinking about creativity. I forgot the goal oriented, mentality which had previously frozen my desire for making art and began drawing my little life purely for the pleasure of it. This has resulted in a complete turn around in the way I think about just about everything! This kind of drawing is a kind of meditation, a kind of worship if you will. Time is arrested while the line takes on a life of it's own, it is refreshing, it is rejuvenating. At these moments I just barely capture that feeling I had as a child while tenderly stroking the inside fur of my cat's paw, drinking in the sensation and processing it with my whole being. I watch my kids and see them experience these moments constantly, I'm watching and trying to learn their lessons