Friday, February 6, 2009

She cracks

It's funny how one can go along thinking things are going wonderful and then all of a sudden whilst doing the dishes- a mini breakdown happens on one. There I was scrubbing the pans when all of a sudden I felt totally overwhelmed. As the tears rolled down my cheeks, a lightness came upon me, I realised the problem was that I was donning too many hats. Here I am in my new identity as a gardener, a student, a landscaper, an inhabitant of a bushfire prone area, a home educator, a carer for frail parents- but I haven't shed my old City self. Something has to give.
This week I have a special 50th birthday celebration of an old friend to attend and a medical appointment for my father but after that, I put my foot down! Two weeks are crossed off for-

  • new seeds to plant
  • a new garden bed to be defined
  • the compost heap needs attention
  • fruit trees to be purchased
  • the wastewater treatment options for the new house need to be addressed
  • an alpaca farm needs to be visited
  • Permaculture Design Course homework
  • tomatoes need to be canned
  • working on photography with my son
  • swimming with my daughter
  • sitting on the verandah with my Significant Other
  • organising protective clothing in case of bushfire
  • absent mindedly wandering around the garden
So there you have it, I have confessed- "I'M NOT COPING!"

1 comment:

Shirley said...

Carving out "me-time" is so important. But when I look at your list, it seems to be the regular stuff that needs to be done as Mom, gardener, student etc. I had a similar period of overwhelming responsibility when I brought my second son home from the hospital (over 30 years ago), and my husband and I decided that I just needed several hours of scheduled "me-time" to look forward to each week, and immerse myself in so completely that I wasn't thinking about the hospital, my patients, my babies, my husbands work hours (on-call 36 out of 48). So I took a ballet class every Monday evening and we happily paid for the class and the babysitter instead of a therapist. IT WORKED!!
Thanks for sharing - we all have those moments in our life and it helps to know you're not alone.